Often the only difference between a problem being painful or being powerful is a sense that we chose it, and that we are responsible for it.

— Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Happy New Year! Whether you believe in the start of a new year (or in this case decade as well) as a marker for new experiences or not, there is something very compelling about that page in the calendar turning over. I hope everyone is having a great day. I’ve managed to fit quite a bit into my day already, including two things I love – getting my workout in, and finishing a good book. (Disclaimer: I don’t love working out, but I do love the way I feel after a good sweat session)

I know I’m behind the eight ball on this book, I remember that a couple of years ago this book took the world by storm. Recently there has been a spate of books that use irreverence and outlandish statements and titles to grab attention, but this is one of the earliest that I can recall hearing about in recent memory. Of course, I’m fairly new to this blogging/social media thing, so it’s entirely possible that I missed out.

Having said that, even I heard about this book from my cave, and now I know what all the hype was about.

Mark Manson is writing about a serious subject – happiness and self-worth – but is irreverent and funny while doing so. It’s obvious that he cares very much about the subject, he is truly passionate about it, but uses sharp wit and off-color humor to keep the reader engaged.

The book’s premise is that in order to be happy, we have to choose what we care about. There is also a strong theme of letting negative and painful experiences teach us, and that by trying to avoid these situations, we are actually harming ourselves. And the other strong message is that entitlement is not ok, and taking responsibility for our lives is the only way to move forward and be happy.

I’d give this book a solid 4 out of 5 stars. A lot of what Manson says is a reflection of things I’ve been feeling and saying. Some of it – such as you can’t learn if you think you know everything – are words that have come directly out of my mouth more than once. (Usually this is directed at my oldest son, who is amazing and also an arrogant 14-year-old).

I like that Manson also addresses how the Internet and social media is affecting the fabric of our society. It’s not inherently bad or good, but it is profound in how it is changing our perceptions and interactions. He gives very specific examples of what he means by each point he makes, which is helpful. A lot of self-help books tend to make broad statements, leaving the reader to wonder if they even know what was meant. He also gives very specific instructions on what he means and what questions to ask – again, a lot of self help books don’t do this. Instead they make a lot of statements about what you should do, but aren’t always very helpful in figuring out HOW to do it. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck doesn’t do that.

The only reason the book didn’t get 5 stars is that it did become a bit repetitive by the end. It’s a short book, but a lot of the points seemed to be repeated ad nauseam. Granted, sometimes it takes people many repeated times of hearing something before it sinks in, but it still lessened my enjoyment of the book by the end.

What did you think? Leave me a comment below, and don’t forget to follow my blog!

Nuggets of gold from The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson
1. Charles Bukowski was an alcoholic, a womanizer, a chronic gambler, a lout, a cheapskate, a deadbeat, and in his worst days, a poet.

2. Being open with your insecurities paradoxically makes you more confident and charismatic around others. The pain of honest confrontation is what generates the greatest trust and respect in your relationships. Suffering through your fears and anxieties is what allows you to build courage and perseverance.

3. In other words, negative emotions are a call to action.

4. I wanted the reward and not the struggle. I wanted the results and not the process. I was in love with not the fight but only the victory. And life doesn’t work that way.

5. Often the only difference between a problem being painful or being powerful is a sense that we chose it, and that we are responsible for it.

6. Certainty is the enemy of growth.